Welcome Message

Jeff Richards here. I created this blog for Titanya so you would have one place to view updates regarding her recent very serious medical condition and where you could add your comments if you wish to do so. I know Titanya will add some of her own comments to the blog, but for right now; I am adding her dictated comments and some of my own, plus have posted the comments already written by David Feinstein that many of you may have received already.

Titanya is now out of the hospital and working hard to recover from the past five weeks of this stressful situation. She is still very weak and who knows when she will even have the energy to view her blog or see your comments, but she eventually will.

She still requests that the BEST way to send your wishes is to send her a card to her home:

Titanya Dahlin
1009 Tinkerbell Ave.
Big Bear City, California 92314

I do know she also doesn't want you to panic and worry about her. Instead, send the positive energy that will continue to dissipate her blood clots and hold the confidence that I do; that she will be back to her old vibrant self soon.

Thank you so much and if you feel the need to talk; you can reach me, preferably by phone at (909) 534-1314.

Jeff Richards
March 25, 2009

Posting Comments to the Blog

Due to technical difficulty with Titanya's blog... we had to change the addresswhich you now have or you would not be reading this.

Anyway... To Post Comments to the Blog... Look for the Comments link in green under each posting. CLICK on that to add your comments.

These comments were previously posted:

Jyoti said...
So happy to hear you're out of the hospital. You've been constantly on my mind in my heart during this time. Let's move those blood clots on out girl, so you can come back to Sedona. Much love to both you and Jeff.
March 27, 2009 11:03 AM

Val said...
You have been in my heart & prayers. You are a amazing woman and will conquer this! Love , Valerie Greene
March 28, 2009 3:52 PM

Genevieve said...
You have been in my prayers and I send you lots of good healing energy. I'm happy to hear that you are out of the hospital. Now with your Mom's and the rest of the family's care and healing energies, I know you will get stronger each day.Love, Gen BonoCP Graduate, Feb 2008
March 30, 2009 8:16 PM

marcelline said...
Dear Tanya, much love and healing energy to you fromMarcelline and Mireille. Luckily you know that the body has a very strong intent to heal itself always.
April 1, 2009 12:18 PM

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Hi Everyone,

There is so much happening with so many of us in the world right now.
Wondering if it's preparing us for 2012, so that life can be easier then.
I've been in "it "for almost two years and I really do hope that my
strength is building, like they say happens, when you face the darkness
in all of it's magnitude.
I just got back from the certification program in Phoenix. So, some of you
have seen me there or perhaps you saw me this summer in a wheelchair
on the Alaskan Cruise? Even though, I've been spotted and even danced
with, I still have been experiencing trauma.
Even now, I am awaiting if I go back into the hospital for ANOTHER blood
This summer, some of the health blessings that happened to
me is that the doctors saw that I have no more blood clots (5 months before
their diagnosis! That was Energy Work!) and they took me off of Coumadin. Yay!
I hated the stuff and didn't want to be on it. It took me 2 separate blood transfusions
this summer in order for them to tell me that I was bleeding to death from Coumadin!!!
Coumadin made me have a 60 day period. One lady in the health food store said that she
would never complain about her cycles again, when she heard that. Right now, I am
waiting for another cycle to stop that's just too long and taking all my energy.
I have no idea how I taught the Bellydance workshops in New York and Boston this
summer, with very little blood to do it. I'm a Fire, that's why and I can Fake it!!!
Anyway, I love your prayers. I still need them. This has been too long of a haul and I'd like
it to stop now. Blood can do funny things. We need it to Think. We need it to Walk. We
need it to be Happy and Live life to it's fullest. Without blood, one can get very depressed
on life. I love you all and I know good things are yet to come...so please keep me in those prayers. Thanks!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Tiernan's Birth!

Hi Sweet Friends,
Although I have been seen at different events, I am still trying to dissolve these blood clots, so that I can be off of Coumadin...a dangerous drug my father was on and I hated it! Here I am, on the same drug! I just came back from a great trip with Tiernan(my new nephew and friend) Dondi and Roger. Dondi and I were teaching our annual Bellydance retreat in upstate New York, and in Boston. In between, we did some sight seeing through Nantucket and the Cape! We missed Hurricane Bill!
I came back only to be taken back to the hospital for more tests and procedures.
Tell a Fire to slow down in life...Ha! Fat chance! But, I am back for a couple of weeks to rest as much as I could.
I have loved getting back to my life again... accompanying my Mom and David in Energy Medicine courses, reading life colors, energy dancing, and watching my buddy, Tiernan, change day to day.
Dondi has become maternal and gotten more into her Earth Element and it's very nice to see, since we all thought (including her Wood self) she would never have children. My Mom and David are very happy as Grandparents, of course.
There are lots of things I have had to let go of in my life, seeing the way life has made it's own plans...Having Children by now and Giving my mother a grandchild are a few of them. Don't get me wrong...I'm still gonna have children...but I'm letting life take it's course in this direction...of what will be.
Tiernan has helped me let go of control. So...here is a sweet memory of the night that he was born... This is the photo of me Tiernan and Dondi the night she gave birth!!!
Here's a bit of the story of the night that Tiernan came into the world.

I had missed the birth by seconds, but was at the back door, listening to the baby's crys. I felt at peace as I entered. I wasn't stressed. Yay. I came in and Mom, me and Dondi continued to birth the placenta and sew Dondi up from tearing. I helped in the hardest part. I was at Dondi's side telling her to breathe. Somehow she had stupid classes where they didn't teach her that, but told her to envision her "vagina opening like a lotus". That's all good, but not reality. I felt like I had been in birthing rooms and caves over and over again, in other lifetimes. It felt natural to me, especially since envisioning this happening to me, so many times and teaching it in my Bellydance classes.
Well, Tiernan was rushed away to bond with the men in the other room and us, women did the dirty work. It was a wonderful bonding between Mom, me and Dondi and the midwife (a French woman-Rogers family is French which is interesting) even though Dondi was in so much pain. Mom almost fainted and had to leave the room, probably because it is hard to see your daughter in so much pain. That's understandable. I stayed calm for Dondi. I was so sad for Dondi to feel all this pain that she didn't expect or deserve. I am the one that has felt physical pain and goes to the hospitals over and over again throughout my life. She has never seen that side of life; she wasn't used to it. She didn't need that.
Well, baby came back into the room and dondi exclaimed or someone in the room said, "Hey, we don't know the sex yet?" Dondi lovingly looked at me and said "would you like to find out." I was delighted and peeked under the covers and exclaimed, "There it is!" We all knew what that meant. We had a little boy!
I always knew it was going to be a boy...even when last September, on our birthday, Dondi dropped the news. It has been very hard this last year, feeling my own emotions and trying to feel happy for Dondi. I didn't succeed that, many times over the course of the year. And now...I feel much more free from emotions.
There was a few of you, (including Jeff who had a dream about Dondi and Rogers boy the night before Dondi told him she was pregnant), that felt it too, even though EVERYONE else said, "Girl". ..So, I was the FIRST ONE to see his little peeny. I hear it's not so little anymore and the doctors are amazed at it's growth. ha ha ha

I am also taking my name as "Auntie" very seriously...as I never thought I would become one.
I have taken the name, Tauntie(German), and Tia(Spanish), as it seems so many of you are self -proclaiming yourselves as Aunts! There are only 2 of us...ME and Roger's sister, Monique.
So watch out!

This is my favorite photo so far. I love it because there I am holding Tiernan and Dondi is proudly being so cute after giving birth...behind us, representing the symbol of acceptance and presence of an angel.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I'm still mending my body, spirit and soul!

Hi everybody,

I know it's been a while...

So many thoughts and questions and hormonal emotions are prevalent in me to what happened in my life recently.

I'm still recuperating, even though I did show up at the Certification Program and shocked everyone, including my own family. It took it's toll and now I am back resting and retreating and catching up on bills(it's mind blowing the costs of medicine, especially when they misdiagnosed me 3 times almost costing me ,my life and my baby making time and I have to pay for it!)and life.
Iam still trying to dissolve blood clots and wanting to go on an alternative supplement...a few of you sent articles on Natokinese and Bromelian. Yes, I am and have been on bromelian to break up the clots(hopefully), but I am going to have to convince my doctor, who is worried about my condition and doesn't want me to take it lightly, to go off Coumadin and onto Natokinese.
Any other sugestions for my blood clot condition???
The problem is: Coumadin thins the blood and stops new clots from forming, but does not break up the old. The doctors say that will happen in time, but I don't have time being 43 years old and wanting a baby. I'd also have to wait for the Coumadin to wear off, due to birth defects.
The clots are felt at night, usually and hurt. I get scared when they move across my lungs or on the left side where my heart is. I did dodge 5 of them already, but still you never know.

Meanwhile, Dondi, my sister, is awaiting the birth of her baby anyday. We all are! Everything looks fine for a woman of 40 years old. I have many feelings going on as you can imagine, but the most wonderful thing was to unite with Dondi, while I was in the hospital and cry together.
Having a baby will be good for her as no one ever thought she'd have one.

So, that's it for me, now. I'd love to hear thoughts on my healing and help me stand in the faith of what may come.

Love you all very much, Titanya

"We comprimise our pride and sacrifice our health, we have to demand more not of each other, but more of ourselves" - Jewel

Saturday, April 18, 2009

April 14, 2009 by Titanya

Greetings sweet friends,

I am sitting outside, in my backyard writing this to you. The sun is shining in the mountains of Big Bear and the lake is sparkly blue. This is my 3rd day home, and so far I am doing good, trying to take it easy, keep myself out of homolateral and do my homework from Mom for the blood clots. My Mom is experiencing post partum Tanya depression down in Mexico, but I check in with her a lot to calm her fears.
It is amazing how many myths came out of this one story for me. Of course, I went into the darkness toward death like Innana, whom I know very well. I actually do a one woman story of her journey. Then, there was Demeter and Persephone and the "ever more" bonding that my Mother and I did throughout this incredible story. And then, there is my own myth.
Now, many of you know that I have always wanted children...but you might not know for how long. All my life! When I was young, I took my family of dollies to the zoo, to the movies, and even saved them from snakes. I was born a mother. Dondi, my sister, on the other hand, played with trains, cars and cash registers. I have always known I would be a mother.
I have been trying to have a child for many years, but obstacles were placed in my way... bad relationship choices, a year of intense caretaking with my father, and a huge fibroid surgery with a long recuperation, I had to put it all on hold.
I never knew that fertility drugs were going to be bad for me! I trusted our female fertility doctor. I never knew the dangers...she never told us! I was only trying to get extra help because I was getting older. We realise now that she didn't monitor me with the fertility drugs. When it didn't work the first time, she "upped" the dosage, without monitoring me. We didn't even know I was supposed to get monitored. So, I got a very rare syndrome called Hyper- Ovulation Syndrome, caused by an overdose of hormone stimulants.
So, I want to put everone's mind at ease, because I am getting a lot of letters about adoption and just letting go of this dream I've had, forever. I understand your fears and how much you are conscerned and love me, but there is a bigger myth here. I will try to get pregnant again. I am not going to use fertility drugs or a clinic. I know now that I must balance out my own hormones, dissolve the blood clots and get off of coumadin. So, I will be taking this time in the next few months to do just that. Boy, am I getting an education on hormones! I have so much information for the Woman's class that I teach.
Back to my myth...I've always felt that I died many times in childbirth and I've known that one mission on earth was to heal this body from those past wounds of lifetimes. I feel that this "death journey" (in the past 9 weeks)that I've been on, has healed that feeling and that knowing, on so many different levels. I've always felt, I've always known that I will be pregnant, out of my own body. If I give up on that mission, then I know I will repeat it in the next lifetime. I know some of you are scared for me to try this again, but know, it will be natural. I can't give up on my hope. I can't give up on my faith. If I let go of this dream, this knowing...I will die.

I also feel that what I went through was unfair! I went to 5 hospitals in the course of 6 weeks. At 4 of them, my fertility doctor manipulated the situation to make it look like I didn't have the syndrome, and so the hospitals sent me home, until I almost died at the last one. I am so dismayed at the fertility clinic and the woman whom I trusted. Fertility clinics have no monitoring system; They basically can do whatever they want.
I do not want to feel like a victim in all of this.
We are searching for a good attorney now. The trouble is that they want permanent damage or death in order to make the case strong. Ha! We feel that fertility clinics are so much in the news right now with Octo-mom, that the time is now...please, if you know of someone in California, can you contact me. I do not want this happening to another woman!
Thank you...Love you all! Titanya

Thursday, April 9, 2009

From Titanya: April 3, 2009

Hi you sweet wonderful friends, you!

I’m here at my Mom’s house in Baja, Mexico. It’s beautiful as the tide is out and the waves are crashing. The sun is shining today and it’s a wonderful feeling after many days of grey. Sandy’s here too and lucky me, they are both working on me!!!

Mom’s Energy Medicine is breaking up the blood clots throughout my body in a quicker way than the doctors told us that it would take. We could see them coming to the surface of my skin and we follow the energy as they move. I am walking better and breathing better too.

This experience touching death with all of it’s mystery and then drawing me, like a magnet, back to earthly things is a big story, which I can’t wait to talk about.

I will be writing about it on my new website…that is being created as I write.

It was incredible and slowly I understand why I had to go through this experience before birthing my child. I’ve waited and waited so long, so many obstacles have been put before me in this lifetime to only wait even longer. So many tears I shed.

I’ve always said that I knew I was clearing up many lifetimes in this one. I remember many lifetimes of dying in childbirth in order, in this lifetime, to bring this body back into fruition to birth a baby. It’s one reason why I know I cannot adopt. I know it will be (perhaps, perhaps not) a difficult pregnancy, but I must do it. I must unite the children who were mine and experience the pregnancy and the birth in order to heal this body and in order to not let my children repeat my own woundings.

You see…a lot has been coming up for me, as it always does.

Jeff has been sending me all the wonderful cards that so many of you have written.

I am slowly getting to my emails, where I found even more beautiful prayers and blessings. I will let you know when I get back to Big Bear, in case you’ve been wanting to send me flowers! Ha ha!

We are playing day by day by ear and letting my body tell me where to go. I don’t know when I will return to Big Bear, as the altitude still might be a problem. We have found awesome doctors down here in Mexico, if anything were to relapse. And I have my Mom and Sandy so no worries, now.

Love you all!

From Titanya: March 26, 2009

Dear Beloved Friends,

I am out of the hospital... oh, happy day! It has been five long weeks.

I am not out of the clear, but with bed rest, Energy Medicine and all the beautiful blessings I have received from you, I think I will be back to my free spirit in no time.

I am touched by all the prayer groups that were formed and feel honored by the individuals who don't even know me who tuned into their own guides to bring me thoughts of hope, life and vitality.When one has close encounters with the other side, it can be quite scary, as well as thought provoking... and somehow, quite peaceful too. Once I experienced it I realized the close intimacy of life and death. It is an amazing experience. Really, if it is without the physical pain I had, I would want everyone to experience it. Now, to live each moment to its fullest and know that love is truly the greatest power of all, I realize even more how precious life is.I am still dismayed by my long journey with fertility treatments, and yet, I know I will be victorious as a mother to be. I do not know why this was part of my journey but I have survived and only time will tell.

A big "shout out" to Kim Wedman. She stayed by my side during a crisis week with my health, applying Energy Medicine during a week whem Mom couldn't be with me.Thank you also to the recent Hilton Head class who freely and supportively allowed my Mom to rush to my side in the nick of time. She never left my side.I am so humbled and thankful by the love of my family, especially Dondi and Jeff who were my hsospital advocates. Everyone needs someone to make sure doctors are doing their job correctly.

I am blessed by you, my dear community and through the power of prayer that pulled me through.

Thank you.

Love, Titanya

PS: Please do not send emails at this time. I have very little energy and I am not ready for computers. I am on my way to Mexico to live with Mom for a little while. And though I LOVE flowers, I can't take them at this time. The cards have been wonderful and they are best for now. Jeff is picking up all of my mail for me.

Send to:

Titanya Dahlin
1009 Tinkerbell Ave.
Big Bear City, CA 92314

Titanya Update: March 23, 2009

Written by David Feinstein.

The weekend was hopeful. Tanya appears stronger. The blood clots are dissolving. Problems that are more minor, though still of serious concern, such as the growth of cysts, dehydration, anemia, and compromised circulation, are coming into sharper focus. The insurance company is focusing on the improvements and pulling to send Tanya home; two doctors have told her to refuse to leave. Premature release from the other two hospitals nearly cost her her life.

She is no longer in an extreme care unit and is in fact in a unit where they can give extra attention to physical therapy so she can regain her ability to walk. They tried seeing how she did without external oxygen or the IV over the weekend. Both turned out to be necessary, so she is back on those.

We have 400 people signed up for three classes in the Eastern states beginning on Thursday. Donna of course is not going to be anywhere this week but with Tanya, so we have let the organizers know she will not be at the first two. The third one is the weekend after this one and we are not making a decision on that at this point. Meanwhile, assuming the organizers still want to hold the events if we can bring in a top teacher, which we can (and they are on alert), I will still go back east, leaving tomorrow as originally planned (I also have presentations that I was doing on my own). That is another sign that we are feeling hopeful.

As the crisis seems to be passing, we are grateful. Still not out of the woods, yet the woods are not nearly as dark, thick, or frightening right now.

Thank you for all your support.